Grandiose Dreams

I think every parent dreams that their child will be a shining example for the rest of the ummah. Many actually are foolish enough to believe this about their children.

Well earth to idiot: Your kids suck! Now get back to reality.

The moment I held my daughter for the first time I was moved with emotions and dreams swept quickly across the mindscape of her future accomplishments:

She memorized the Qur'an, mashaAllah. Oh she memorized major hadeeth works, superduper mashaAllah. She scored perfectly on every standardized test she's ever taken, homeschooling rocks, mashaAllah. She wakes her parents up for tahajjud regularly, mashaAllah. She helps out around the house and takes very good care of her parents, mashaAllah. She's courageous, modest, and fiercely competitive, mashaAllah. She got married at a young age and she and her hubby attend Ivy League together, making granddaddy and grandmommy very very proud, mashaAllah. Oh and did I mention how she makes AMAZING samosa's...

mmmmmMashaAllah...

Ok, now I really have to get back to reality.

These are the ideals I have set for my children. However, will they come to fruition? Allah knows best. But as with everything, it cannot start to happen unless we start right from the beginning. If you think you have time...it's already too late...because you've made up your mind that you're happy with the status quo. There's no need for you to change yourself.

I have seen many parents define their child's dreams. From the usual doctor, lawyer, engineer crap, to the hafiz, aalim, aalimah crap. And I call it crap because the parents define these as measures of success without measuring what constitutes their own personal success. Why do these titles and any of the accomplishments have any importance or significance? I mean all of this is moot if your child is rude, ill mannered, disrespectful, lacking taqwa, lacking any comportment at all, and if this is the case, then what have you really gained?

When your defining measure of success or if your goal is that your son becomes Mufti Espy or Dr. Espy or whatever, without YOU as parents putting in the effort to:

1) Change your condition first and foremost (how good can a Mufti be without seeing a shining example at home?)

2) Research and outline the steps necessary to reach your desired outcome/goals for your children (how can your child get into ivy league if you're busy with Bollywood and ESPN? Have you researched into what gets kids into these institutions?)

3) Position yourself, your lifestyle, to foster the best environment in which these dreams can flourish (how can your child be well rounded when all they see are values and manners antithetical to your dreams?)

4) Make du'a to Allah to accept your actions and ensure that your intentions are sincere (how can anything be accomplished without Allah's help?)

So with that said...Mr and MrsEspy have a long and arduous road ahead. We are weak slaves. Pray that Allah gives us the strength to push ahead with ihsaan in our journey that lies ahead.

We look forward to sharing our thoughts, ideas, findings and progress as we chug along.

And to all the parents and future parents reading this blog...May Allah shower you with seeds that bear the most pleasant, sweet, and delicious fruits imaginable.

Signing off,

FarmerEspy...